Missed My Sunday Service & Also a Very Moody Day 8-|

~ 23rd Apr 2006 Sunday

Hmn...today was really a very moody day for mi..I managed to grab some hours to sleep…& woke up early in the morning to get ready to go church service….however, my cell leader wanted us to meet her @ 10am for cell group meeting….

Haiz….for the past few days…really a very tough time for mi..I didn’t hav much mood in my revision…wasted quite some times…I was very worried abt my mama….I somehow sensed that something was not right for her..she seems like another person to mi…she’s not as devoted to Lord as compared to the past…I guess must be the stress from work…she’s been working late for the past few days…late..I mean from morning 8 till late night 10…14 hours….seeing her so tired…my heart really hurts….

Her eyeballs were so red…every time she came back home…after bathin..she will massage her leg with the machine…& in the end she will sleep during the process….she’s so tired…thus, I cant chat much with her…then she will go sleep….& woke up early in the morning to prepare herself for work….

Honest speaking…these few days..i have been sending her sms…to encourage her….to tell her how important she’s to mi…tell her I love her….etc...There was not a moment I dun worried abt her…even in school…I will also sms her…jokes..pics….etc…

And tis morning, she told mi tat she’s not going to church after opening the office… (usually after she opened the office…she will come to church, then after service end, she then went back to work), but today she’s not going….actually she told mi a few days ago tat she didn’t want to go….well..tat’s really make mi worry…wat actually happen to her? Why she dun confide to mi? I know she dun wanna mi to worry as my exams is approaching, but tat didn’t do much help….instead..i am more worried…I cant concentrate on my revision..i kept on thinking ways to make her happy, reduce her stress….send her bible verses…

So, I made up my mind…I decided to hav a talk with my mama’s director, Hiong (the daughter of the boss, who juz take over the biz, & she’s from the same church as mi)….

Upon reaching church, after my cell leader arrived, we had a mini cell group meeting..only the 3 of us..my cell leader, my aunt & I….wat aunt fengying (my cell leader) went thru with us do make some sense…I guess…one of the reason why mama didn’t wanna come church…becos of aunt feng ying…she seems to has some misunderstanding with aunt fengying…(well, tat’s wat my basic instinct tells mi)

A short prayer ender the meeting..then we were chattin…& I spotted Hiong…so I approached her…& asked if we can hav a talk…so standing in the middle of the hall, I told her abt the amount of works my mama had to do, esp after my aunt left the company….my aunt’s task seems to be divide among all the staffs…& of coz..my mama suffered the most..cos she’s the most senior…so she knows more…wat a good excuse…cant they hired another staff? Since they hav preparation of my aunt going to leave the company, they should hav in mind the amount of workload will increase within the staffs…so they should start recruiting new staffs…& not adding on to the other staffs….each of them hav their own task…if add on more work…they will hav to work longer…but there’s no OT for my mama…she’s been in the company for over 20 yrs…yet they only increased a very minor amt of bonus…tat amt not enough for her eye treatment….worse of all, recently her eyes had been giving her man problems…she’s seeing eye specialist…but she had to look @ the computer screen thru’ out her day @ work…which worsen her eyes…she complained pain…& her eyeballs…so red….& the other 2 manager & manageress…seems to be takin salaries for nothing…only know how to command ppl to do things…yet they dun do themselves…they even asked my mama go help out I the paper works if she’s free…wat???? That’s not her job…anyway..there’s so many others staffs…why my mama?? Cant they see her eyes so swollen & red…still want her to look at those documents…& the 2 of them always dun do late duties on sat & sun…cos they wanna spent their wkends with their families…hey!! Wat abt my mama?? She dun hav to spend times wif her family arh?? They always choose those days where there’s no so much task…& push my mama to work on those busy days…hey…she needs rest too…she’s not a robot leh…& worse of all…Hiong told mi she didn’t know my mama’s eyes hurt..& didn’t know she was asked to do paperwork..so she told mi tat she will hav a good chat with my mama on Monday…well…I told her frankly tat my mama didn’t complain to mi..juz tat when she’s home…she will grumble abit…but from wat I heard & I hav been to accompany her a few nights…It really hurts mi to see her work till so tired & unhappy….i dun mean to interfere Hiong’s company strategies…or whatever…but as a daughter of my mama…I think I can make some comments…..especially if she put herself in my shoes…she will know the pain…

Hmmn…finally ended the talk wif Hiong…I left to wait for little gorilla @ the same meetin place…but as time went by…I still didn’t see her….i was very disappointed…esp I m feelin so moody today..i m lookin forward to see her..cos once I see her I wont feel so moody & I need a hug of comfort from her….I called her dad…to ask if she’s here today…& he told mi she’s wif her god-sis…so I told him I will wait for alittle while…but as the main entrance gate closed…I knew I wont get to meet her today…& I also didn’t went in for the service….I sms aunt tat the gate closed..so I going to look for mama….actually, I already had in mind of not attending this wk service….cos my feelin was not right…cant be devoted at all……

B-( Very disappointedly, I headed to the MRT station…Mary called mi from my back…had a short conversation with her while walking….the encouragement she gave mi for my coming exams..indeed helps in one way or another….haa….before parting...she gave mi her name card...if i had any problem...can approach her.. :)

Upon reaching the station, we parted…listening to my mp3 songs…I m still very moody…decided to give mama a surprise by dropping by her office…I on the mp3 player very loud….I m totally emerged into the songs….

Mama was surprised to see mi appearin infront of her…then we had lunch together…erm..Thai rice wif chicken & some vegs…well..quite nice & tasty..but abit spicy for mi….i then stayed there…using the paint programme in the computer..i drew some snoopies & used them as the wallpaper on mama’s pc..& ard 3 plus..i went home….

I chose to walk slowly home…hmn..Kind of relax…then I went to some bookshops to browse thru some books…& then I went home…swept & mopped the floor, ironed clothes….then bath…& finally sat infront of my books…wanna start study…but in the end…I was so tired…I fell asleep….

By the time I woke up….it’s already 6 plus….so after washin my face..i called little gorilla….she then told mi that she waited for abt 5 mins….but didn’t see mi..so she left…haiz…I told her she should wait for alittle while longer…I really wanted to see her…I told her how moody I was & lookin forward to meet her…but didn’t get to see her….she apologized….but I was relieved cos I thought she’s wif her god-sis & had forgotten she’s meetin mi…but glad to hear tat he did wait for mi….

Then there’s 2nd call thru her line…so we ended our conversation….& I packed my feeling…getting ready to study…did feel abit better..however..i m still worried abt mama….then aunt came home…we had a short conversation..then I had some cookies…since I had late lunch…& watched the Taiwan variety show..hahah…funny enough to make mi feel better….

Then I received Melinda’s sms…she still haven’t received my reply letter which I posted last Tuesday…hmn..strange…where did the letter go? I didn’t write the wrong address…I even used a very nice letter pad & envelope to reply her…hmn..too bad…to console her…I agreed to reply another one…haha..this time round I didn’t used the previous letter pad..instead I used yellow letter pad to reply her…lucky I still roughly remember wat I wrote…hee…done with the writing…I sealed it up in an envelope…& wrote her address big & clearly in marker…hahhaha….scared postman cant see.....

Hmn…wat a day….feeling really moody & down….watched tv…till mama’s back home…her face finally showed a little smile…for how long I didn’t see her smile….

She bought 3 marsh potatoes for us….then each of us ate one…after she’s done with her bathing…as usual..she massaged her feet till she slept….she slept so soundly…so even after the machine stopped…I didn’t wake her up….but my aunt woke her up…urged her to go back room sleep….

Then both of them turned in…left mi alone…it’s so warm…so I took another bath…then returned to get ready to study…but I guess…I was really too tired…in the end I slept on the floor….& I still remember mama woke mi up when she’s awake….well..i will continue on the next day entry…