Cranes...

~ 26th Jan 2006 Thursday...

Hmn..so fast it's another week...hmn...the day tat i had full day class...hehehe....hmn...so boring during the macro class...that i had the time to fold cranes...mini paper chairs, tables....etc..

I even taught christina how to make lanterns with red packets...& how to fold cranes..hehhee...

Hahhaa....they looked so cute...hehee.....the 4 cranes, each on a chair...like having a meal together...hahaha...i even made a box to put them in..hhaha.....

Finally...lesson ended...dun think i only focus on folding these...i did take down wat lecturer wrote & said...Hmn...such a pity if i threw them away..so i gave one additional one to Jan(she requested to have one)...then the rest of them...i gave it to christina....she said very nice....dun throw...asked mi to bring home..but i dun want..hahhaa....

Wishing All A Very HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

~ 27 Jan 2006 Friday

Yuppeee....HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

Being Hurt!! Grumpy mi....

~ 17 Jan 2006 Tuesday

Hmn..actually today I felt quite happy…but just becos of a conversation with mama…everything changed.

I was really very disappointed to hear wat she said to mi….we had quite a good conversation at 1st..then the topic changed to my studies…I was told to study hard….ya ya…I know…..then she added that she was very embarrassed when ppl asked her wat I m doing now…cos some of my frenz graduated this year..yet I m still studying….

Embarrassed becos of mi?? that’s wat she really felt? Oh…this word came out from her really really hurts mi a lot…I m so disappointed…wat to be embarrassed of? Why should I be embarrassed? Well..i admit I did fail some of my modules…but at least I m making an effort to retake the papers again….if I dun take..then she should be embarrassed…it’s not as if I did something bad….is studying consider to be embarrassed?

Why do I have to be compared with my frenz? So wat if they graduated? who’s life so perfect tat he/she will graduated within the given yrs? I do admit that competitive do motivate ones to improve…but I hate that….why should I be compared with other????they have their own way of studying, they have their own problems…they have their own lives….do I have to be compared with them for everything in my whole life? If they get married …do I have to be embarrassed of? Do I have to just find a partner on the street & rush into a marriage?...oh..if that’s the kind of life I have to lead..i will prefer to tat I am not born!

Well…not only my mama…my frenz also add pressure to mi…some dun think I can make it this yr..some just say dun play play….some will say..u see I graduated liao..so u must also hurry…HEY..do I look as if I purposely wanted to retake? Do I look like an idiot to them? Do I really joke around with my own future? Just becos I seems relax & happy everyday..so they think I m not serious in wat I do?
Why why why???? They think it’s easy to regain my confidence to study the same thing again & again? When I cried over my results…do they know? Do they know how I felt when I put in effort yet the result was so damn…? Arrhhh…..watever…

I dun understand why? no matter how hard I try…..my mama dun seems to be satisfy with mi? actually I do have confidence that I will be able to score good grades in the coming exams…but wat she said really demolished my confidence…I m so disappointed with her…I hate that kind of feeling…whenever I m really upset or hurts by the word my mama said/used….the pain in my heart will trigger the pain deep inside my heart…..that’s the pain I dun wanna to be remind of…..

And yes..i m being reminded of….again…the departure of my father…really hurts mi a lot….i hid that feelin deep inside my heart….years ago…I was so remorseful of wat I said to him…I was so sad that he didn’t say anything before he left….i was so sorry for not being able to tell him how much I love him….i was so angry with myself for not being able to appreciate the things he did when he’s around….i was so hurt to see him lying there motionless & cold….he looked so familiar yet so strange…his face was purple…till I cant recognize him….was he my dearest father?

Whenever I thought of him….tears will just flow continuously….scenes of him ironing cloth…sending mi to school…cooked for mi…buying my fav foods for mi..yet I still complained tat I m sick of eating tat every wk…chatting every night before we sleep.…..all memories of him will just filled up my mind..& right now I m listening to the new album of ayumi hamasaki tat I just bought….the song ‘HEAVEN’ was just the perfect song at this very moment....the lyrics of this song really pointed out how I felt…mentioning that even if one no longer around…the love & the bond between us will still be there…no matter how…that person will always be in my heart…Yup…indeed..my dearest father..will always be in my heart…if I had a chance…I wont say those words to my father on the 2nd day of lunar new year (1999)…

After tat incident, I always told myself to be strong, I know tat my mama loves mi a lot…but she’s too protective…my brother once mentioned tat I seems to be very dependent of my mama…but the fact is that I want her to depend on mi….i want her to feel my love, care & concern for her…..i want her to know that the departure of father is not the end of everything…she still has mi & brother….i dun want her to feel alone….i wanna accompany her whenever I can…I give her my priority….but sometimes…I do need some personal times too….when I m out with my frenz…I dun really like her to call mi once after 11plus…i seldom go out with frenz…so if I m out…I tend to stay out later then usual…but she will call mi…a few times…then she will also sms mi …using words tat really hurts…like…so nice to chat arh? Cant bear to come home, etc….i dun like those words…it’s kind of sarcastic…

Well…I can’t please everyone…can i? I always think for my mama, frenz…before I think for myself…but ends up hurting either one….some of my frenz get tired of mi always rejecting their outing…will be angry of mi…sometimes I really cant go…cos I know my mama will be home early..so I can spend some times with her….but frenz still get angry…there’s 7 days in a week…mon to fri, I working, then sometimes hav lesson in the night…so by the time I get home,my mama already in bed….then left sat & sun…Sunday I will definitely ‘give’ it to my mama, cos I need to go church…then afternoon accompany her go shop shop…or whatever….then sat..i will be stayin at home to do housework..like washin bedsheets, etc…then do homework..sometmes I will go out with frenz….i m fully occupied in a wk…

But frenz dun really understand…they say one day nvr accompany mama nvm wat…but wat do they know? their mothers have spouse to accompany them…my mama dun hav, she only hav mi & my brother….my brother seldom come…only once or twice a wk…so my mama will be alone at home..she can tend to get bored….

But I also do want to go out with frenz…but I dun wanna make my mama angry…she tends to get angry or rather jealous of my frenz…but I sometimes also angry with my mama….

So it’s difficult to be a good daughter, good friend…there bound to be some conflict in between..haha..i guess that’s life….

Hahaa…today I m rather grumpy…well…I get over it quite fast…so maybe tomolo I will be back to normal…I really thank GOD for giving mi such a positive attitude towards life…else I think it will be the end of mi…Anyway.. no one gonna change my way, my thinking…my style…I m just mi…dun try to imply their ways into mine….just like I dun imply or influence them with mine…I am happy of myself…& really am..

Hmn…I guess it’s good to cry once awhile..heehee…I do feel better…& now I no longer angry with my mama…heehee…I tend to get over quite fast..so I guess it’s good to write it down..hahah…so as to remember there’s a time I m so hurt by mama..hahaha……………bible said that one hav to learn to forgive others as it’s need a lot of courage & confident to do so..so if able to forgive, there wouldn’t be any more hatred in one’s heart….learn to forgive & forget….
Dear Lord..i m so sinful…I complained abt my mama & friends & life……please forgive mi..for being so grumpy …ahmen…

*Yawn* time to sleep….heehee…so tired…hmn..tomolo will be a brand new day…..

A Happy Meal & finally everything settled!

~ 12th Jan 2006 Thurs

Hmn..today i was so happy....finally met up with my sec sch friend....juan...hehhee...been 6 yrs since we last met...i think that was after our sec sch graduation....haiz...as usual ...she still so tall hmn...she said i should get used to it..cos during sec sch days..we really get along pretty well...haha..cos the both of us were prefects...then i remember very clearly tat all the prefect leaders went meeting...so no one leading the pledge...then very unlucky..both of us were asked to say the pledge unprepared, infront of the whole afternoon session...haha...we ere so nervous...so hope to get over as soon as possible...but guess we were really very nervous..so we forget the next sentence after the first few...so in the end we said wrongly...i remembered very clearly tat we were being scolded by the principal Mrs Ong...& on tat day..really very embarrassed...everyone will look @ us when we passed by...haiz..even went to the ladies...ppl will stare @ us...then giggled..hahha...but that was a very good experience..haha.....then we always went for early recess...then went to our duty locations...heehee....nevertheless...we had a very extremely good chat after we met...heeehee...well..good frenz dun have to see each other very often...still have many things to talk about....


We went to Swenson @ Plaza Singapura to have our dinner....we were sitting at the far end corner inside the restaurant..heehee...i ordered lime freezy frooze...& she ordered the chef recommended ice-cream..then for our main course...we both had omettele...hers was cheese & chicken ham....mine was chicken & mushroom.....very yummy.....as shown in the picture...








We had a very enjoyable conversation...heehee...really very glad that she asked mi out for dinner...else..we won't know when we will really meet for a meal..hahaha....hmn..after a meal...i was pretty naughty...she dropped one of the fries on the table..so i put the American flag on it...heehee...looked pretty nice mah...hahha....



Finally a photo together...hmn...we never take a photo together before...not even during sec sch...haha...nop..got one...the prefect group photos & sec 1 & 2 class photos...hahhaha....so happy...erm..not exactly lah...the 1st photo..ppl might think we same height...







but by looking at the 2nd photo..everything was being revealed...she's really much more taller than mi...haiz....heehee....but this photo looked nice too..agree?


Hmn...& finally that printing company guy...returned mi all my 20 pieces of plain black tee...hmn..finally..thank god...he printed on one of the tee...well..i do think it look ok to mi..but dun understand how come he said not well printed...so he drag & drag....anyway...glad that he bought back the same size plain black tee to return mi...for the printed one..haha...finally everything was solved & settled...really a relieved...now i m going to look for another printing company to do the job for mi...good luck to mi...heehee...finally can have a good sleep...

Dishonest Printing Company!!!

~ 09 Jan 2006 Monday

Today...i m really really really very very ANGRY!!!!hmn..ok..wat's the reason?Well....i designed a t-shirt..& wanted to print abt 21 pieces..then my best friend recommended her bf's fren, who's workin in a t-shirt printing company...then at first..i got in touch with him thru email..then everything was on the right track..then he showed mi the sample...ok..then i told him i wanted the t-shirts ready b4 xmas then he said ok...

The first problem occured..that nite before he had to give mi the finished tee...he called mi saying tat the media he's supposed to use to print ran out..so there will be a delay if use another one...so ok..nvm..then he said he will gave mi on xmas eve...then 2nd problem...on that very day....he sms mi..tellin mi tat his staff burned one of the machine's pad...so every orders were delayed..he agreed to compensate mi on the price...ok then...i was very annoyed liao..but wat to do...the machine's down..not his fault,he cant do anythin...plus it's festive season..ok..nvm...then he said he will give mi next thurs..ok..i waited...then on wed nite..he called mi..tellin mi tat..he will deliver the tee to mi @9pm...on thurs..i was thinkin..oh..finally done..

BUT.....the very next moment.he called mi..tellin mi tat he had changed dept...his another colleague will handle my case...oh..ok...then he will still give mi the tee tomolo (thurs)..nvm...then thurs...i waited till afternoon...3plus..his colleague called..tellin mi tat he cant do the job...he will returned the 20 blank tee back to mi(those tee i bought then gave them to print & the sample was already with mi) i was so damn pissed off..i scolded tat guy..then he said...yah..but the new machine not ablt to function well..so he cant do the job..then he said if i wanted to continue the order ..it's alright..jus tat he cant give mi on thurs nite...so i said...ok loh..wat to do...suppose to be xmas gift yet turned out xmas over liao...so nvm..i asked how much time he need........a month???he said no...1 wk will do then he said he will deliver to mi on next wed(last wed)...so till last wed....he never called mi. ..at all...
so i also never call him....wanted to give him another chance...ok...then the next day..i cant take it..so i called that no. he used to call mi...& guess wat...no respose...then i called my fren's fren...
he then told mi...tat guy will call mi....he cant do anything...ok...then i log onto their company website....then i found out tat...his no had changed...so i called the new no...he answered..
he then said he will call back...ok...nvm....i waited till evening...he sill nvr call back..so i called him....i left him a very damn harsh voicemail..

i told him...if he still not returnin my call..he will hav to get ready to receive my lawyer letter...
then also sms him...ok..he finally reply mi...sayin tat next monday...(which is today)..he will deliver to mi...ok...then he said the price is $8 per tee (at first $10...so after the previous delay)...i told him i only willing to pay him $7.50...after so much problem...& he agreed...ok...nvm....i waited...till today...

i send him an sms yesterday..tellin him...pls no more delay...yet no reply...no call or sms the whole day...until i so angry tat i called him...guess wat?the no is no longer in used!!!!!!so i called the previous no...& he answered...i then asked him...when is he goin to give mi..he said 8plus tonite (mon).....then i told him i havin class..so make it 10pm...but..later i was told tat my class cancelled...so i call him again....& he said ok..9 plus...i logged online to the website...& indeed his no was changed...back to the previous..& the whole nite he never call..he said he will call...yet no....
so in the end i called his tat no..rang until the operator told mi the customer is not available...
i called duno how many times liao...then i try callin the so called cancelled no...& it get thru!!
then i left a very very harsh voicemail....to him...but still no response..i send sms to both hp...still no response..then i called my fren's fren..he also nvr answer!!!

Hey he's gettin on my nerves leh....i really really really very very angry..Ermm...no..wat i should say is...this so-called printing company really have bad staffs...all so irresponsible...no business ethic at all.....i wonder how they survived!!Oh rather....a DISHONEST company......

Well...mine may be a small order...but no matter wat..i m still their client...is that the way to treat their client...??Instead of them get in touch with the client....the client has to search high & low for them...& outcome is?? No response....only can wait...yet wait till no response too!!! DON'T GIVE PROMISE WHEN CAN'T DO IT!!!....i really hate that....

I m not the one giving them pressure....they themselves told mi they will be ready on tat particular date...yet they cant give mi the tee.....so they cant blame mi for being angry & kept on rushin them...if someone else were in my shoes...wat wil be the respose?

Haiz.....if my tee..not with them...i will hav cancelled that order & find another company to print....hmn....wat to do?

Oh...worse of all...i just logged onto their website again...& oh..the company address was changed to another location....oh....haha..the stated location was nearer to my house.....hmn...tomolo i will go to their company...& see wat they have to say...

If they try to deny...i will make sure they received my lawyer's letter...i will make sure i sue them till i get my necessary copensation...for the time wasted...& for the break of contract..beside that i will also make a police report...& i will write in to the media...let everyone knows how they do business....

Am i too mean? I doubt so....cos they are the one who's causing a victim to fight back!!

1st day @ work in Yr 2006...

~ 03 Jan 2006 Tuesday

*Yawn* Hmn...early in the morning, while i m still blur....mama said to mi a very unexpected sentence..."dun sleep too late even though u dun have to work today..." !?!?!?! I was shocked to hear that...totally awake....thinking back wat's her sentence again... i told her...no...i m working today...i only stop working at the end of jan....heehee...she then blur..hahhahaha.....

Hmn...duno how come...my mama likes to ask mi or tell mi something whenever i just woke up...dun she knows that i need time to be totally awake..hahha....trying to "test" mi everytime...lucky..i know her "pattern"...so i m well-prepared..hehehe....

Duno how come..the thought of goin school tomolo makes mi feel restless...No No...i can't let this goes on...never really revise much ever since the trip to HK...hmn....must let myself settle down to study now...

Hmn...so my 2006 resolution is: 1st:Study real hard & get my degree; 2nd:Have more understanding in the Bible..& more actively involve in church stuffs; 3rd: Shower more love,care & concern for my family members esp my dearest mama; 4th: Hmn...find my ideal partner..hahaha.....; 5th: Slim down...Well..that's all....

Well..well...just 1 more month...i wont be working here...hehe...hmn..by then i will be studyin real hard for my coming exams...wish mi luck! ^_*

Red Heart-shaped Cushion/Pillow

~ 02 Jan 2006 Monday

Hmn...today really a very relaxing & cooling day..hehee...no need to go school & office...

Oh yah...really loves the x'mas gift little gorilla got for mi...so nice to hug...heehee...so comfortable too...heehee...

Well...thanks to my mama...she helped mi to make a case for the pillow..or do u call tat a cushion?hmn...anyway...mama really great...in just a few minutes..she finished making it..,.really power leh...heehee...love her the most...

Well..here's the picture of the red heart cushion...And this is wat it looks like..after putting the case..heheee.....lovely isn't it...i m going to hug it to sleep from tonight onwards...hehehee...

1st Jan 2006 Event....

~ 01 Jan 2006 Sunday

Hmn....today...went church quite earlier...cos mama need to do help out today...oh...raining....hmn...been a month since we moved to Expo...hhaha....& strange...the distance seems to be getting shorter & shorter...

Today is the 1st day of 2006...so cool...x'mas day fall on sunday, & new year day also fall on sunday....the very first time tat i went church on this two special holiday.....and the coming lunar new year also fall on sunday...hmn...guess this will also be the very frst time in my life to spend the 1st day of lunar new year in church...hehehe....

Met little gorilla before the service started...so happy to se her..been ages since i last saw her...well then i passed her her bday presents....& the photos i took in Hong Kong....so happy..i also got present from her...quite a big bag..after i accompanied her to the kidz section...i went in for the service...many balloons on the floor...heehee...celebration mah....new year...

Today service by our apostle was really good....hhaha..& funny....so the time passed very fast...
So after one last worship song, we left the hall...then happened to meet little gorilla...she's looking for her mama...

We then went to Lerk Thai to have our lunch...yummy..the beef kuay teow...really very yummy...& also the lemon crispy chicken...also very oiishi...and the Tom Yam soup also very spicy & sour...

After our delicious lunch...we went home...today no cell group...hehheeh....we went Bosiini..i bought one yellow tee....very nice...

*Yawn*...finally home...hehehe.....

Had a very simple yet tasty instant porridge with 1/2 century egg, 1 egg, 1 hotdog, 1 crab meat stick...so nice to eat something warm in cold weather...hehehe....

Oyasumminasai & ja ne.... "_^

1st January 2006 ~ Fireworks @ The Esplanade

~ 1st Jan 2006 Sunday

Once the clock striked @12a.m. There's a very splendid view @ The Esplanade....hehhee...i managed to video recording the very moments....hmn...it's the FIREWORKS!!!
Here's some of the clips i croped from my video clip....hehehe....

Nice right...... ^_*